Posted by: lolalately | August 17, 2012

What I know for sure: Relationship Truths

Preferring to think myself something of an original, I rarely if ever re-post entries from other bloggers. I’m making an exception to that tonight, because this is simply too good NOT to share. What follows is a re-post from TWISTEDLOLA (http://twistedlola.wordpress.com) … who is not related to THIS Lola. I hope you’ll take away something to ponder just as I did when I first read her post. ~ Lola

12Aug

“A promise is a promise. Don’t promise anything if there is a doubt you may break that promise to someone.  It opens the door to continuous let downs if you don’t follow through.

Don’t date a married man or a married woman.  Married is married.  They belong to someone else.  Almost divorced, separated, living apart but almost divorced, “I don’t love her/him anymore”…still MARRIED.  You deserve better than any married person half-assing a relationship with you.  They are selfish if they pursue you.  PERIOD.

When someone wants to leave a relationship, don’t ever beg or try to reason with them to stay. Love doesn’t run. Let them leave.  Our greatest stories are tied to those who want to be a part of our lives.  The ones who leave are just little excerpts to help us get to the next chapter.

A person needs to realize their own self-worth, and until you realize your own self-worth, no one else will either.  Realize how truly amazing and wonderful you are. Right now.

What you put up with, you end up with. If a person keeps doing something you don’t like or are not comfortable with, there is a reason for it.  It usually means they put their feelings/wants above your own or they simply don’t value your thoughts.  There is nothing wrong with YOU getting to decide if you will accept those things.  Just make that decision and only blame yourself if you keep getting the same mediocre results because of what YOU allowed.

Gut feelings should be trusted.  Especially if the same situation is repeating.  It’s alright to be open and honest about how you’re feeling when your gut is feeling a bit “off”.  Don’t feel badly for wanting to trust yourself.

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along.  Thank you, Maroon 5 and Adam Levine, who I really, really love.  I fell in love with “She will be loved” and cannot get that song outta my head.

Be with someone who truly values you as a person.  One who accepts you just for YOU.  No comparisons to others.  Don’t be with anyone who wants to change you.  Don’t let anyone compare you to another.  It’s more about them than it is about you when they want to change who you are.  Love yourself and know this.

Be with someone who won’t hurt you intentionally.  And if they do, don’t give them another chance to hurt you again.  Don’t tolerate anyone hurting you.  There is someone out there that would do ANYTHING to never see you cry or to always see you smile.

If a person breaks your heart and wants to make amends, make them work for it.  Make them really work for it.  Value yourself first, and make them value you as well.  Don’t tolerate mediocre behavior.  There is someone out there just waiting to treat you like the fabulous person that you really are.  Make them work for it.

Words need to match actions. Period.  Don’t let anyone half-ass any relationship with you.

I believe that if someone truly loves you, you’ll know it.  They will show up for you.  You won’t have to question anything.  They won’t want you to forget.  And they won’t disappear or deliberately ignore you.

Excuses and blame put on you is a person not taking ownership of their own feelings or actions.  Call “bullshit” on that.   Only own your own emotions and feelings.  You only have the ability to control you own stuff.

*******************************************

These were and are really hard “truths” that I have learned over the last year.  I hope they help you, too!  I want to pull these out whenever I forget my own value and self-worth while inside of any relationship that I may question, especially in the future!

It IS really OK to put yourself first.  Really.

Maybe the hardest relationship is the one with ourselves….”

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Responses

  1. I love a lady named “lola” 🙂 Thanks so much for the repost. I love sharing thoughts and experiences and feel honored that you would include me on your blog.

    THANK YOU!!!!


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